Felt
by forthechills
Summary: "The end was presumable. Death was immanent. In this moment, she didn't have a single concern other than Cordelia standing in front of her, tall and listening." Foxxay oneshot that takes place shortly after the murdering of the Axeman in Episode 12 of Coven and right before the hanging of Fiona's portrait.
"Queenie said ya probably have my stuff?" Misty hung in the door frame of Cordelia's room, ticktacking her rings against the wood to release nervous energy. "I need to change into something not blood-soaked."

Cordelia turned around from her wardrobe. She had put on a new shirt and skirt from a drawer that was stocked up with black garments exclusively, as she had instructed Delphine to do the first time she was blinded. She'd rather not risk any wardrobe malfunctions as long as she was living under the same roof as Myrtle Snow.

She took the cane that was leaning against the open cabinet door and Misty wondered why she would need it in her own room. However, when Cordelia started to move, she seemed to be holding onto it for protection rather than orientation.

"Come in, dear." _Dear_. Mistys heart lept what felt like an inch. Somehow she was glad that her nonplussed grin went unnoticed. It was kind of embaressing how quickly she could go from knife-wielding warrior to inept gawk.

"There's a basket with your clothes in the closet." Cordelia started to make her way across the room slowly. Misty let her gaze wander around Cordelias belongings: the wooden hairbrush on her bed, her useless laptop on the side table, a grey cardigan on the floor next to the vanity, that she was probably unaware of. She also noticed the weariness in Cordelia's steps. Misty picked up the cardigan and carefully put it over a chair.

Cordelia turned on the light inside of the closet and took a step back.

"Can you see it?"

"Yea." Misty brushed past her and was greeted with an overwhelming scent of Cordelia as she stepped into the chamber. Her heart grew for the woman, who had ripped her eyes out to save her life, who had such tremendous amounts of kindness radiating from her and was being rewarded with such sorrow and scorn. How was one supposed to contain so much affection for another person in their chest without bursting, she wondered. She turned around to face Cordelia and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. "Thank you so much."

Cordelia smiled. Of course Misty was unable to read her eyes, scars hidden behind a pair of black sunglasses, but she felt that precious and altogether unusual bond between the two of them. It seemed stronger than ever, almost palpable in their physical proximity, manifested in Cordelia's sacrifice. Why pretend it wasn't there? Misty quickly shifted her attention to the wicker basket on the floor holding all her dresses and shawls and jewelry.

"You can use the bathroom if you want to take a shower." Cordelia's cane was pointed in the general direction of the door in the right back corner of her room. "There's towels and shampoo in there, take whatever you need."

Once she heard the water running in the other room, Cordelia went to grab her phone from the nightstand. The familiar chime of the device she had come to rely on heavily let her know it was listening.

"What time is it?"

 _The time is Eleven-Fifty-Three PM_. Cordelia sighed. It was going to be a long night.

"Call Zoe." She made her way over to the fireplace, careful not to trip over the rug on the way.

"Zoe, would you ask Kyle to bring me my green tea and water with two cups and two glasses please? And some bagels with cream cheese perhaps? Thank you."

Skilled fingers sought out the wireless speaker system on the mantle. She tried to remember where she had left the remote control and was pleased to find it in the little bowl next to the console. She was getting better at this.

Another sound indicated her phone had connected to the system. She considered putting on Fleetwood Mac for a second but dismissed the idea as unduly sentimental.

"Play Kanye West."

She needed her brain to shut up for a minute.

Misty came out a few moments later, dressed and clean, her damp curls loosely braided down her back. She stopped to observe Cordelia for a second, hunched over her vanity, rummaging through the drawer. She too had tied her hair back and had discarded her sunglasses. Misty smiled at her choice of music, letting let her mind go back to one of their shared afternoons in the greenhouse.

 _"Well. Ya weren't kiddin' when ya said this would be different."_

 _"You can change it if it's bothering you."_

 _"Nope. It's your turn and I`m totally down. I just didn't think you'd like that stuff."_

 _"I'm sure there's a maltitude of things my students don't know about me. After all, I'm their teacher, not their friend."_

 _"Well I know now."_

 _"That's okay."_

 _They both looked at each other smirking. Cordelia raised an eyebrow and Misty shot her a wink in return, both of them aware they were only half joking._

 _"Is he the crazy guy with the Twitter?"_

 _Cordelia laughed. "He's the crazy, deeply disturbed guy with the Twitter, yes. He is insane and his music is brilliant."_

 _"One would think ya would've had enough of crazy people."_

 _"I still like to hang out with you, don't I?"_

 _"Gee, Miss Delia."_

"Are ya looking for something?"

Cordelia quickly grabbed the remote to turn down the music. Misty walked over to the table in the middle of the room where she was happy to find a pitcher full of water.

"I can't find my hairbrush."

"It's on the bed." Misty pointed at it before realizing she was being stupid and gulping down her glass of water.

Cordelia turned her heard towards the bed and huffed, but didn't make a move to fetch the brush. Instead she drew closer to Misty, suddenly uncomfortable with the distance between them, wakefully aware of the scarce nature of her rescue.

"How do you feel, Misty?"

"I'm okay. Thirsty. A little stirred up and still kinda mad. That little bitch better stay out of my way for a while."

Cordelia realized how much she had missed that familiar, raspy voice. Even those harsh words sounded so comforting to her, that she had to take a moment to swallow the lump in her throat. Yes, it had felt satisfying and right to let Misty knock Madison up, so much, that she had gladly chosen to ignore her liabilities as the headmistress of the academy and protector of the girls in her care. It confused her. She liked the rules. Rules made her feel in control.

"Careful, Misty. You can't hurt a sister witch without bearing the consequences, no matter how much they deserve it. You know I should have intervened earlier but it was out of my own rage that I left it, which is unfortunate. Now I can't rightfully punish Madison because I gave way to arbitrary law. It can't happen again."

Misty was chest was suddenly heavy with anger and shame. They were supposed to work as a team of equal partners. While technically Cordelia was still her superior, they had long abandoned common student-teacher boundaries. Now, she not only felt like she had done something way out of her zone but also like she had misinterpreted the nature of their relationship. She wasn't a fool: she knew, as her student she had undermined Cordelia's authority. But why did it feel like a punch in the stomach? Why was this so confusing?

"Do ya realize how long I've had to protect myself? I spent years and years trainin' myself, watchin' out for sources of danger and protectin' my home, my friends and everything dear to me. I care about ya, Delia. It is in my _nature_ to punch a bitch if I considered her a threat to you and your home."

Cordelia's mind was racing. Misty was obviously getting worked up, but she didn't know if it was her wrath winning the upper hand or something entirely different. There had been plenty of moments like these between them, transitional stages in their relationship, heavy with meaning, where it was as unclear as it was necessary to either push forward or sway back, moments usually interrupted by some displacement activity, then brushed aside as imagination later. Cordelia decided it was time for a _demi tasse de realité_ as Myrtle once phrased so perfectly. So Cordelia did something different: she did nothing. She heard Misty take a deep breath to collect herself before she continued.

"Listen, I'm sorry my moral compass is a little off right now. I can't look at ya without my blood starting to boil. It must have hurt so bad. I know ya can fend for yourself, that's what I've been saying all along. Still couldn't let her do this to ya and not fight her. I just wanted to tear her apart and -" Misty stumbled over her words, frustrated with herself and her sudden inability to talk straight. Why did she keep rambling on about this fight? This didn't have anything to do with Madison or getting revenge. Turns out it wasn't that easy talking in plain terms when your biology turned against you.

"That's not the point," Misty said to herself in an attempt to make sense of this mess of thoughts and wishes. She closed her eyes. "My point is, I might have the power of resurgence but ya can only bring back a soul that has something to hold onto in life. In that coffin I was only able to bring myself back over and over because I wanted to see ya again, because I wanted to go home. Ya have given me everything and I will give everything to ya, so don't make me feel like shit for not being able to sit back and watch ya fight this war all by yourself."

"Misty." Cordelia's voice crumbled under the weight of meaning. It was merely above a breath. "I'm sorry. I want you to know, you don't owe me anything. I -"

"No, I didn't mean it like that." There was only a second of hesitation before Misty continued. "I love ya."

Misty felt hot and then cold and then she felt liberated. Relief and courage filled her chest and it was more delicious than drawing that first breath after being coffined for three days. Every derangement inside of her fell into place.

"First I fell in love with your magic; right from the start I fell in love with that and the power that almost knocked me outta my senses when I took your hand. Then I fell in love with your heart. I want to be with ya so bad, is all I want. And I'm not afraid anymore."

She wasn't afraid at all. It was incredible; the way that love could shift priorities. She had been brought back to life, twice. She had killed a man not even an hour ago, with her bare hands. The end was presumable. Death was immanent. In this moment, she didn't have a single concern other than Cordelia standing in front of her, tall and listening.

"I guess I just need ya to know what ya mean to me, before it's too late."

She took a step forward and slipped her hand into the shaky one Cordelia was holding out to her. Full circle.

"And you're beautiful. You're so beautiful."

Mistys voice was thick with tears, suddenly overwhelmed by the force of her own feelings. Cordelia drew herself closer to the younger witch by blindly grabbing a handful of her dress. Her cane clattered to the ground unnoticed by the two.

"Tell me again."

"C'mere."

Without thinking Cordelia pulled herself impossibly closer against Misty, immediately greeted by two strong arms wrapping around her frame. She pressed her forehead into the warmth of Misty's neck and took a deep breath.

"I love ya very much." Misty turned her head and kissed her temple.

"I feel the same." The simple statement danced across Misty's skin like warm rain, firing neurotransmitters through her body at the speed of light. She instinctively held on to the body against hers even tighter.

Cordelia lifted her head, a shy hand searching out for Misty's face, lightly tracing her features. Misty echoed her action and slightly brushed her thumb over Cordelia's trembling bottom lip.

"What's wrong?" Misty's felt her heart tangibly clench in fear as she watched Cordelia smile sadly.

"Nothing is wrong. I just really wish I could see you right now."

Misty leaned her forehead against Cordelia's, their noses touching, lips merely inches apart. Her intentions were clear but she wanted to take time to make sure this was what both of them wanted. A simple soft nudge was all the encouragement she needed to close the gap and taste Cordelia.

Misty's kiss was wholehearted and keen and it took Cordelia not even a second to open up to her, effectively melting to savor the feeling of soft lips exploring her mouth. They separated to fill their empty lungs, still breathing each other in, still feeling the other's heartbeat against their own.

"You're incredible. I love you." Cordelia pulled Misty back in for another kiss, fingers tangled in her messy curls. The next time they came up for air, Misty opened her eyes to see Cordelia lick her lips and she intuitively grabbed her by the hips to press her closer.

"Fuck!" Cordelia half moaned, half laughed, sinking her fingers into Misty's soft neck, bringing her mouth up to her ear. "I'm afraid we kind of have to hang that portrait before we can …continue on."

"Yea." Not being ready to let go just yet, Misty ran her hand over Cordelia's back, trying to memorize every little detail just in case she was going to wake up from all this in the next second. Sensing her unease, Cordelia took her face in both of her hands, letting her thumbs gently brush over smooth skin in place of a reassuring gaze.

"Let's get this over with quickly and then call it a night. Okay? I can't wait to fall asleep next to you tonight." She felt a nod and a smile and a shaky sigh.

"And then?"

"Wake up next to you."


End file.
